a thought

Can anyone still really dispute

that what we are looking at

was meant to be so much more?

---

is there anyone out there who thinks this, this, is the goal?

that we’ve come far enough?

done enough?

that this is as it should be?

---

and, my god, shouldn’t we have seen it coming?

It’s just like all the fairy tales:

his name was a prophecy,

is a prophecy.

I thought I knew better than to ignore a man’s name.

---

some people use exclamations well.

fuck, they say.

no!

not good enough!

---

and I,

don’t have a word for all of this.

but if I did

it would sound like

---

the creak

and ear-splitting crack

of a branch, a big one,

letting go.

---

I won’t use his word.

there are so many better ones:

humble, compassionate, wise,

passionate, ready, willing,

---

alive, invested, sure as hell gonna show up.

so many better things

a country, a people, a life,

could be.

---

that, I believe.

and I help write the words out on big paper:

at the very end of all of this

will this story be more than just a faded bumper sticker in a used car lot?

more than just another band of merry men who faded into the forest?

---

I write and write and write, and I try my best to listen.

but in the evening,

---

all I seem to know how to do is start another notebook,

convinced I’ve been renewed and restored

only to

---

forget

once again

what it was I was

trying to do.